California Key lime pie
There are three great feast days in winter: Thanksgiving, Christmas and Super Bowl Sunday. Of these, only the Super Bowl involves food that is actually popular. Out goes cranberry sauce and in come chicken wings, chips, guacamole, pizza and beer. On this day of days, we not only eat our favorite things, but we also come to it with high feeling and great sense of occasion. It is the Last Snack. There won’t be another license to graze like it until March Madness strikes.
As the day approaches, all we need is a game plan. Not so much what to eat, but in what order? The way food goes down, or, indeed, whether we should attempt to eat at all, will depend entirely on how our guys are doing.
The commander in chief’s nemesis, pretzels, along with tortilla chips and black bean salsa, should be served first, while the choking risk is lowest and everyone’s sitting up straight, before sacks, fumbles, interceptions and blown field goals assume cataclysmically throat-tightening proportions.
As Tom Brady shoots a bullet past Jevon Kearse, it’s time to move on to tension-relieving foods, stuff that can be gnawed, ripped and torn: pizza, chicken legs, more pizza. Come to think of it, maybe fried chicken would be the idea this year, since the game’s in Jacksonville, Fla. Fry up a lot of it; it’s almost as good cold.
The mangos in the black bean salsa extend the Florida metaphor; the queso fresco will please guests who only pretend to like the sport.
The menu’s the same for losers and winners, with the note that losers may wish to skulk to the kitchen to run down the clock building elaborate sandwiches to supplement the fried chicken; either can be chewed in a sulky reclining position, while inspiring envy in fans of the wrong team. And coleslaw goes with both.
Anything that can be spilled, stain the sofa or end up on the drapes should not come out until halftime, during which there’s no chance that an Akers kick might bounce off the goal post.
We thoughtfully left out the gravy because if Donovan McNabb is sacked for a 20-yard loss, the only righteous reaction for an Eagles fan would be to thwack the drumstick against the sofa.
Armed with menu plans for an exciting game, we do have to face the possibility of a rout. The average margin of Super Bowl victories is 16 points, and only eight games of the 38 have been decided by fewer than seven points.
This can’t be fixed with pizza. You either have to switch sports, or go to the video store, rent “Friday Night Lights” and go back to the snacking strategies A or B.
Then, real game or fictional, all you need is a prize. Key lime pie is as good for winners as losers, at once sour and sweet.
Graham crackers
In a food processor fitted with the steel blade or in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the flour, brown sugar, baking soda and salt. Pulse or process on low to mix. Add the butter and pulse on and off, or mix on low, until the mixture is the consistency of coarse meal.
In a small bowl, whisk together the honey, milk and vanilla. Add to the flour mixture and pulse on and off a few times or mix on low until the dough barely comes together. It will be very soft and sticky.
Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface and pat it into a rectangle about 1 inch thick. Wrap in plastic and chill until firm, about 2 hours or overnight.
Divide the chilled dough in half and return one half to the refrigerator. Sift an even layer of flour onto the work surface and roll the dough into a long rectangle about one-eighth inch thick. The dough will be sticky, so flour as necessary.
Trim the rectangle to 4 inches wide. Cut the strip crosswise every 4 1/2 inches to make 4 crackers. Gather the scraps together and set aside. Place the crackers on one or two parchment-lined baking sheets and sprinkle with the sugar-cinnamon mixture. Chill until firm, about 30 to 45 minutes. Repeat with the second batch of dough.
Adjust the oven racks to the upper- and lower-third positions and heat the oven to 350 degrees.
Gather the scraps together into a ball, chill until firm and reroll. Dust the surface with more flour and roll out the dough to get two or three more crackers.
Mark a vertical line down the middle of each cracker, being careful not to cut through the dough. Using a toothpick or skewer, prick the dough to form two dotted rows about one-half inch from each side of the middle dividing line.
Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until browned and slightly firm to the touch, rotating the baking sheets halfway through to ensure even baking. Makes about 10 large crackers.
Graham-cracker crust
Pulse the graham crackers in a food processor with the sugar. Drizzle in the butter, pulsing until combined.
Press into a 9-inch pie pan. Chill for 30 minutes (or less, in the freezer).
Bake for 10 minutes at 325 degrees. Cool on a rack.
Filling and assembly
Whisk the condensed milk into the egg yolks. Add the lime juice and whisk to combine.
Pour the mixture into the graham cracker pie shell and bake at 325 degrees for 12 to 15 minutes to set the filling. Cool slightly, then chill for several hours.
Serve with unsweetened whipped cream sprinkled with grated lime zest.
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